Magic Mike

Whatcha gonna do on a boring Sunday afternoon with nothing else better to do than sit in front of your computer playing Plants vs. Zombies? (yes, I still play that) Why not go out and see a movie? Heard Magic Mike just opened last Friday and I hate to admit this but I was one of those who were hyped to see Channing Tatum wiggle his magical mike. Thanks to my rowdy bunch of officemates, Magic Mike became a must see movie on my weekend to-do list.


So there I was in my walking shorts and favorite yellow shirt heading to the nearest cinema and trying my best not to look excited at the prospect of seeing Channing Tatum's and Alex Pettyfer's ass-sets. The queue wasn't that long but oh boy, I'm the only straightlooking(?) fellah in the queue as most in line are throngs of giggling girls with their gay bestfriends.


I felt so oddly out of place even if I'm so out of the closet. Maybe I should've forced my officemate Donna to come watch the movie with me. She could be the giggling girl while I'm the gay bestfriend, hehe. But there's no turning back now and I found myself walking towards the darkened hall of Ayala cinema where I could almost smell the overexcited female (and gay) hormone in every seat.


As I settled uncomfortably beside a straight guy who was obviously forced by his girlfriend to watch the movie, I can't help but grin at what I'm about to watch. It felt like like my first time in a gay bar! 


After the usual coming-soon-movie trailers, the lights were dimmed for the main event and with bated breath, I wasn't disappointed when 5 minutes into the movie, Channing Tatum's ass swing into full view to the delight of shrieking girls.

Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer. Now who do you think is hotter?

Channing Tatum is physically gorgeous and Alex Pettyfer is just wickedly handsome with a perfectly shaped bottom. Kudos to Matthew McConaughey too for the chiseled abs and class A performance. His solo dance number is well-rehearsed but nothing beats Channing's dance routine. This guy is a dancer indeed. He could raise your blood pressure and body temperature by humping the floor like a mothafucka. I swear, you'll end up with a 20-20 vision when you see him gyrate in thongs, hehe.

A personal favorite is when the boys performed as a group. Man, I was grinning from ear to ear as them boys wiggle their muscled buttocks. But what made me burst out laughing was when I caught a glimpse of the guy beside me. He has this look of a pained expression, like he's about to puke any moment while beside him, his girlfriend giggled like a 14 year old.


Poor guy, he must've felt what I felt when I was queuing for the tickets earlier. I'm almost tempted to give him a nudge and offer my hand for him to grip. He looked kinda cute pa naman. Too bad he's straight. But who knows? Maybe he's a closet queen trying so bad to act like a hotblooded pussy-chasing straight guy or else his parents will deny him his inheritance.


Back to the movie.


There's no denying that Magic Mike is a movie made for girls and girls at heart (like me). How many films out there can you see gyrating male strippers? The last to come in mind is The Full Monty and that disappointing Rob Schneider comedy flick Deuce Bigalow. Both movies of course paled in comparison to Magic Mike's testosterone-filled hot muscle dance action. My 62 year old virgin aunt who's still waiting for her dream boy will be absolutely floored in watching this movie. Maybe I'll buy the DVD when it comes out and send it to her as a Christmas gift. I can almost imagine her making a sign of the cross. I love you Tita.

Joe Manganiello in a fireman get up. Now all he need is a fire hose and we're all set.

So, did I have a good time watching Magic Mike? Hell YEAH! All the more reason for you to come out of your cubiholes and run to the nearest theater and just enjoy yourself with your girlfriends as Channing, Alex, Matthew and the rest of the boys of Xquisite club dance their way to your liquid dreams. After all, they're the boyfriends you'll never have.