Friends with Benefits

No I'm not talking about the movie. I was actually about to title this post as Wanted: Friend with Benefits. But that would make it sound too wanting like I'm in the lookout for a friend with benefit or fucking buddy to put it more bluntly. 

(pause) 

Erm yes, I'm actually in the lookout for a friend with benefit. There I said it. My sex life is zero and I'm looking for someone to scratch my back. (I hope my friends in the office won't be able to read this as I think I gave them the impression that I'm having an active sex life when I'm actually having none... oh like they care anyway, heh heh)

Now let's go back to what I want to tell you. I'm not a boyfriend material so I was thinking of switching to something conventional. Something you can call quick fix when you want to scratch an itch without feeling guilty about it. Life would be a little less complicated if we have this option, dont you think? But I guess you won't agree much on me here especially if you're into forever and happy ever after. Believe me, I do believe on that fairytale shit but I guess for someone like me, forever doesn't apply or maybe there could be forever for people like us but it's a case of one out of ten... now I'm starting to sound like I'm pessimist.

For a moment I thought she means 'wind' and 'cliff'. Silly me.

Sigh. Why sex has to be so complicated? Can't we have sex minus the complications? I mean, can we have really good sex and make it look like it's the dreamy part of the foreplay? By the way when I say foreplay I mean date. Yes, that's how call it. Whenever I go out on a date, (like I go out on a date that often) I always think how long will I have my clothes on. But that's another story. 

But just think about it. Life's a lot sweeter if we have someone to go to bed every weekend nights, share a kiss or two, rub your back and have an effing good time like an off-and-on switch where you text your 'friend' and ask him 'Hey buddy, are you free Friday night?" Then you'll go through your usual Mondays to Fridays and look forward to weekend with your 'friend'. I'm like talking about a weekend friend here so week nights with your buddy would be fine too or any given night or day of the week, if your horny meter's really spiking.

No emotional strings, no 'I love yous', just plain sex and it's not even physical intimacy just, I don't know, plain fooling around maybe? My dad would call it plain bullshit but bullshit or not, at least you know what you want and knowing what you want separates you from an indecisive teenager to a master adult, or more of a sexually active adult. Just don't forget to use condoms.

So, friends with benefits anyone? Or maybe not.