The Perpetual Loser

That's what I call myself 2 nights ago when my friend and I went out last Saturday night. Bonding with your friend is healthy to keep the friendship going, right? But what if you both end up liking the same person? Will you risk the friendship?

Sounds familiar, eh? It's like a plot from some cheesy movie: Boy meets Girl (in our case it's Boy meets Boy). Boy likes Girl. Boy introduces Girl to Bestfriend. Bestfriend likes Girl and Girl fell in love with Bestfriend and Boy was left broken hearted. That was the exact situation we were in (or more of me) last Saturday night. I was on the flirty mood while my friend who just came out of a nasty break up a few months ago (he's still on the healing-my-broken-heart stage and I'm-not-in-a-rush-for-new-relationship kind of phase) simply tagged along for the fun.

He first saw him sitting in the corner and told me, "That guy looks cute". And sure he was cute with his glasses on and boyish grin. He's like Harry Potter, only hotter and with shorter hair. Mr. Potter is with a friend too, who seemed to have drowned himself in several bottles of beer he's already half drunk ready to pounce on any hot blooded guys gyrating on the dance floor. He seemed to have the hots on Mr. Potter based on the way he looks at him, or maybe it was just my imagination. 

Anyway, Mr. Potter's friend is equally hot. Who wouldn't fall for a hot bod skinhead? But I only had my eyes on Mr. Potter, although there was this really good looking guy in cute shirt who's giving me the eye earlier but oh boy, he turned out to be with his boyfriend so hands off compadre. Now it's just Mr. Potter I have to play my charms with but wait, my friend here likes him too. What's a boy gotta do?

Play the good friend I did and let them get to know each other. There are still other guys in the bar anyway... But me likes Mr. Potter so much I so wanted to wrestle him out of my friend. But I'm not that kind of friend so I just drowned myself in 4 bottles of beer, already feeling like shit on my 5th and ready to pounce on any hot blooded guys... where's Mr. Potter's friend anyway? I could give him a blow, I mean go. No, I mean we could dance together. Two boys miserably jealous over our friends' newfound love.

I don't know how the night went by. Guess I was too drunk to notice but it ended with a really nice twist. I was able to get Mr. Potter's number. Well my friend has his own excuses. It was lame really, said that his phone's dead and he doesn't memorize his number. The truth is my dear friend isn't prepared for something like it. Remember, he's still in that healing-my-broken-heart shit. But I have Mr. Potter's number so why complain? I was just to forward it to my friend a little later though, as he told me, and then we said our goodbyes.

The morning after. Well it was late afternoon really when I woke up with a bit of a headache (and a broken heart), and to my utter joy, Mr. Potter texted me. Yipey! Apparently my friend haven't texted him yet and he's wondering if my friend really do like him. Oh I do like you bro, I really do. But I never went out of my stupid way telling him that. I'm a good friend, remember? And what do good friends do? Kill them and steal their potential boyfriends. Nah. I told Mr. Potter that me thinks friend is still asleep and I'll talk to him tomorrow.

So here I am. Having found an excuse to write something on my little blog. My friend really do like him, a lot. But he's just a bit too afraid to initiate the start and as a good friend, I told him to give Mr. Potter a chance. Go out with him, get to know each other and take it from there. My friend is a great guy and he deserves someone better, even if that someone is someone I also like.

Jeez, now I'm a loser. I think I am. I'm already listening to Linger by The Cranberries and it's playing on repeat.

Friends with Benefits

No I'm not talking about the movie. I was actually about to title this post as Wanted: Friend with Benefits. But that would make it sound too wanting like I'm in the lookout for a friend with benefit or fucking buddy to put it more bluntly. 

(pause) 

Erm yes, I'm actually in the lookout for a friend with benefit. There I said it. My sex life is zero and I'm looking for someone to scratch my back. (I hope my friends in the office won't be able to read this as I think I gave them the impression that I'm having an active sex life when I'm actually having none... oh like they care anyway, heh heh)

Now let's go back to what I want to tell you. I'm not a boyfriend material so I was thinking of switching to something conventional. Something you can call quick fix when you want to scratch an itch without feeling guilty about it. Life would be a little less complicated if we have this option, dont you think? But I guess you won't agree much on me here especially if you're into forever and happy ever after. Believe me, I do believe on that fairytale shit but I guess for someone like me, forever doesn't apply or maybe there could be forever for people like us but it's a case of one out of ten... now I'm starting to sound like I'm pessimist.

For a moment I thought she means 'wind' and 'cliff'. Silly me.

Sigh. Why sex has to be so complicated? Can't we have sex minus the complications? I mean, can we have really good sex and make it look like it's the dreamy part of the foreplay? By the way when I say foreplay I mean date. Yes, that's how call it. Whenever I go out on a date, (like I go out on a date that often) I always think how long will I have my clothes on. But that's another story. 

But just think about it. Life's a lot sweeter if we have someone to go to bed every weekend nights, share a kiss or two, rub your back and have an effing good time like an off-and-on switch where you text your 'friend' and ask him 'Hey buddy, are you free Friday night?" Then you'll go through your usual Mondays to Fridays and look forward to weekend with your 'friend'. I'm like talking about a weekend friend here so week nights with your buddy would be fine too or any given night or day of the week, if your horny meter's really spiking.

No emotional strings, no 'I love yous', just plain sex and it's not even physical intimacy just, I don't know, plain fooling around maybe? My dad would call it plain bullshit but bullshit or not, at least you know what you want and knowing what you want separates you from an indecisive teenager to a master adult, or more of a sexually active adult. Just don't forget to use condoms.

So, friends with benefits anyone? Or maybe not.

The Amazing Spider-Man

I know I know. Spiderman opened in this side of the world weeks and weeks ago but I only got the chance to see it this afternoon when I was half-suicidal about the state of the world economy...

Okay to be honest, I was a bit reserved about watching Spiderman's reboot. I mean, why re-create another superhero movie when the last of the 3 films wrapped up merely 5 years ago? Is Hollywood running out of big budget films to produce that re-creating Spiderman headlined by an all new cast is the only thing they could think of releasing 6 months before the end of the world? (uhm, that's according to the Mayan calendar)

Why not resurrect Titanic (that one came out in a remastered 3D version last April) or Back to the Future (there's talk about a remake which Daniel Radcliffe would love to star in) or better yet, ET which by the way scared the 5 year old me when I watched it in Betamax (Betamax what?) back in the 80s. ET is no cutey excuse me.

So after much delaying, procrastinating, dilly-dallying and delaying (oh I already said that), I decided to spend my afternoon in my favorite cinema after being depressed by the Euro debt crisis and its overspill to our precarious economy (believe me, I was really depressed). Booked the 3:05PM screening I did and bought a liter of C2 Green Tea (to keep me awake just in case) and buttered popcorn (to munch if I get bored) and pretend that I'm watching this film for the sake of making an entry on my blog which dear Lord, has only 3 followers and an average of 10 daily pageviews (I think I'm really depressed now).

The verdict ?

Pleasantly surprise is all I can say after I emerged from the cinema having enjoyed 136 minutes of webslinging, wall crawling, spider bite, teenage romance and that skin tight red and blue Lycra suit worn by fresh face Andrew Garfield (I love the smile, bro).

Spiderman became human in that film and all his flaws were stripped naked like a Calvin Klein underwear commercial. I love the awkwardness of the teenage Peter Parker and in some way, he became one of us: ordinary guys who once upon a time, were bullied by a really cute bully. Even with the mask on, it feels like he's not Spiderman but Peter Parker in disguise.

It was a plus for me that Spiderman was reduced to a mere alter ego of the very human Peter Parker. As compared to Tobey Maguire's, Andrew Garfield's Spiderman is fearfully vulnerable which makes him all the more human. I also love the fact that they finally became faithful to the comic book by deciding Spiderman's web to shoot from his self-made artificial web-shooter; unlike Tobey Maguire's organic web-shooter which by the way, is terribly terribly ecky. Yikes! I have spiderwebs coming out of my wrist!


Another plus for me is Gwen Stacy played by the wide-eyed Emma Stone. Sorry but I can't help but compare the incredible chemistry between Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield versus the barely-there chemical reaction between Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst. Stone's Gwen Stacy and Garfield's Peter Parker look real good together. Way better than Bella and Edward or Beavis and Butthead (the latter is not a pair in a romantic sense by the way). I felt for Peter when he asks Gwen for a date. Actually he didn't ask. It was just hilariously awkward and when they finally kiss... oh boy, I can't believe I'm writing this but I'm sounding like my teenage cousin. But when they kiss, my toes  actually curled (I wonder why up till now, maybe it's the C2 Green Tea).

Aww! Don't they look good together?

Let's not forget to mention the stellar cast of support from Martin Sheen playing Uncle Ben and dark-haired Sally Field as Aunt May to Rhys Ifans (remember him in Notting Hill?) as The Lizard as well as Denis Leary as Captain Stacy, Gwen's over-protective dad who towards the end of the film played a crucial role in the demise of the Peter-Gwen romance (argh, I hate you ol' man)

"I'm going to throw you out of the window now." Very funny line from Spidey to Gwen.

But the demise of Peter and Gwen's budding romance is only a tool for Peter to grow into his alter ego's demanding character. Remember, he wasn't born a superhero unlike Thor or Superman. And unlike Tony Stark who donned the iron suit for some unknown egotistic reason, Peter chose to wear that tight Lycra suit to fill the void in him after Uncle Ben's death.


Darn, can hardly wait for the sequel. I wish the world won't end 5 months from now as I still need to watch the sequel to this hands down reboot of our favorite action hero: The Amazing Spider Man.


Now lemme go get some sleep.

Magic Mike

Whatcha gonna do on a boring Sunday afternoon with nothing else better to do than sit in front of your computer playing Plants vs. Zombies? (yes, I still play that) Why not go out and see a movie? Heard Magic Mike just opened last Friday and I hate to admit this but I was one of those who were hyped to see Channing Tatum wiggle his magical mike. Thanks to my rowdy bunch of officemates, Magic Mike became a must see movie on my weekend to-do list.


So there I was in my walking shorts and favorite yellow shirt heading to the nearest cinema and trying my best not to look excited at the prospect of seeing Channing Tatum's and Alex Pettyfer's ass-sets. The queue wasn't that long but oh boy, I'm the only straightlooking(?) fellah in the queue as most in line are throngs of giggling girls with their gay bestfriends.


I felt so oddly out of place even if I'm so out of the closet. Maybe I should've forced my officemate Donna to come watch the movie with me. She could be the giggling girl while I'm the gay bestfriend, hehe. But there's no turning back now and I found myself walking towards the darkened hall of Ayala cinema where I could almost smell the overexcited female (and gay) hormone in every seat.


As I settled uncomfortably beside a straight guy who was obviously forced by his girlfriend to watch the movie, I can't help but grin at what I'm about to watch. It felt like like my first time in a gay bar! 


After the usual coming-soon-movie trailers, the lights were dimmed for the main event and with bated breath, I wasn't disappointed when 5 minutes into the movie, Channing Tatum's ass swing into full view to the delight of shrieking girls.

Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer. Now who do you think is hotter?

Channing Tatum is physically gorgeous and Alex Pettyfer is just wickedly handsome with a perfectly shaped bottom. Kudos to Matthew McConaughey too for the chiseled abs and class A performance. His solo dance number is well-rehearsed but nothing beats Channing's dance routine. This guy is a dancer indeed. He could raise your blood pressure and body temperature by humping the floor like a mothafucka. I swear, you'll end up with a 20-20 vision when you see him gyrate in thongs, hehe.

A personal favorite is when the boys performed as a group. Man, I was grinning from ear to ear as them boys wiggle their muscled buttocks. But what made me burst out laughing was when I caught a glimpse of the guy beside me. He has this look of a pained expression, like he's about to puke any moment while beside him, his girlfriend giggled like a 14 year old.


Poor guy, he must've felt what I felt when I was queuing for the tickets earlier. I'm almost tempted to give him a nudge and offer my hand for him to grip. He looked kinda cute pa naman. Too bad he's straight. But who knows? Maybe he's a closet queen trying so bad to act like a hotblooded pussy-chasing straight guy or else his parents will deny him his inheritance.


Back to the movie.


There's no denying that Magic Mike is a movie made for girls and girls at heart (like me). How many films out there can you see gyrating male strippers? The last to come in mind is The Full Monty and that disappointing Rob Schneider comedy flick Deuce Bigalow. Both movies of course paled in comparison to Magic Mike's testosterone-filled hot muscle dance action. My 62 year old virgin aunt who's still waiting for her dream boy will be absolutely floored in watching this movie. Maybe I'll buy the DVD when it comes out and send it to her as a Christmas gift. I can almost imagine her making a sign of the cross. I love you Tita.

Joe Manganiello in a fireman get up. Now all he need is a fire hose and we're all set.

So, did I have a good time watching Magic Mike? Hell YEAH! All the more reason for you to come out of your cubiholes and run to the nearest theater and just enjoy yourself with your girlfriends as Channing, Alex, Matthew and the rest of the boys of Xquisite club dance their way to your liquid dreams. After all, they're the boyfriends you'll never have.

Dolphy 1928 - 2012

I'm not really a huge Dolphy fan nor am I fond of local showbiz but upon hearing of Dolphy's death all over the news, I felt compelled to write about his enormous contribution to Philippine cinema most especially to the gay community. As we all know, Dolphy is one of the first to take the role of a homosexual man into mainstream cinema. This leads to the likes of Joey de Leon, Michael V., Ogie Alcasid and even Tirso Cruz III to follow suit without fear of bigotry and alienation in donning serious 'faggotry'.

Without Dolphy, people would definitely have biases towards gay people. It's true that the media's influence on public opinion is humongous and Dolphy's portrayal of a gay man from Facifica Falayfay to Markova has somewhat put on the public's consciousness that gay people are here to stay and an essential part of the society. I may have my own bias on Dolphy's gay roles given his depiction of homosexuality is synonymous to how the Filipino public stereotyped PLU (people like us): effeminate, loud, cross dressing faggots in heavy make up with a boylet in tow.

I state the latter with animosity given the fact that not all of us can be boxed within such a description. Most of us, especially those in the closet, are far from what Dolphy portrayed in his movies. Most of us don't wear make up or cross dress or effeminate  Although a good number of us would mask our somewhat feminine characteristics with a sweaty dose of gym workout and weekend fun runs, I know quite a lot of gay man out there who are surprisingly undetectable. Unless you are equipped with a well calibrated gaydar, some of these men are totally straight acting you'll have a big surprise of your life when you learn that they too are eyeing your hunky next door neighbor. But I won't delve into that as it will require another article.

Which takes me back to Mang Pidol. As I write this, a lot will be written about Dolphy's life and work. From countless newspaper articles including that piece from the New York Times which reads Dolphy, Comedian Adored By Many Filipinos, Dies, to endless parade of TV specials and re-runs of the Comedy King's films and TV shows. Mang Pidol had a prolific career and we all grew up laughing at his brand of slapstick comedy. One role in particular stands out in my memory: Lino Brocka's Ang Tatay Kong Nanay 

In this review from fellow blogger Oggs Cruz, Dolphy played the typical gay beautician Coring, who is left with a baby by his former ward, Dennis (Philip Salvador). The baby grows up (the boy is played by a very young Niño Muhlach) thinking that Coring is his real father.

During its closing sequences wherein Coring (played with a pitch-perfect sense of both comedy and drama by Dolphy), dressed as Ms. Spain in a low-budget gay-version of an international beauty pageant (again, a testament to Philippine ingenuity), answers a question by the pageant host. Brocka's camera then lingers to Dolphy's exaggeratedly painted face; and Dolphy owns the close-up, delivering his lines with subtle emotionality and tender grace. His manner of answering felt like his character bore the aches of the entire Philippine gay community on his shoulders, and you can easily feel for him. Just when you are drawn to his character's poignant soliloquy, Dolphy snaps out of the mood with a joke, and you laugh, although still teary-eyed.

Mang Dolphy, you're truly one of a kind. Thank you for the years of laughter you've given us. You will surely be missed.

Victoria's Secret

Now here's something that my father will enjoy. Surprisingly, I had the best time of my life oggling these gorgeous women it made me think that if all girls in the world are this sexy, beautiful and scorchingly hot... I'll definitely convert and swear off boys, hehe. Seriously. Who wouldn't want to be with these women? Orlando Bloom is one lucky bastard to land on the lap of Miranda Kerr. Now I wish I have a bombshell of a girlfriend wearing nothing but Victoria's Secret lingerie all day long. Oh no... I'm not hearing this but I'm turning straight! My mom would celebrate. Nooooooo!

Anyway, enjoy these random photos of winged angels wearing a pair of bra and panties. To my ol' pops, this one's for you (naughty grin)

Mrs. Orlando Bloom wearing the 2.5 million dollar Fantasy Bra from last year's show

Goddess Adriana Lima

... and over here is an ample view of the goddess's backside. Oh la la

Brazilian bombshell  Alessandra Ambrosio. This bejeweled back piece features 105,000 Swarovski crystals embedded onto the 23 carat gold plated antique copper wings, making it weigh a whooping 22 pounds! I wonder how she managed to carry it

My favorite angel South African Candice Swanepoel. Now don't you just lurrrve those darn legs

Looking good Rosie. We all know of course that she was Sam Witwicky's girlfriend in Transformers: Dark of the Moon replacing Megan Fox. Honestly, I'd still go for Megan. Rosie's hot but Megan got all the 'right' stuff.

Moving on to Karolina Kurkova before she was pregnant in 2009

and the Queen Heide Klum on her last strut on the Victoria Secret runway

Catch that flying kiss!

I hope it's not Chupa Chups

Maroon 5's Adam Levine and girlfriend Anne Vyalitsyna. Heard they split up two months ago. Good for you Adam. My officemate Donna is single and she's way hotter than Anne.

Nah, must be fake barbell or she wouldn't be able to walk in heels.

Marissa Miller and the $3 million Fantasy Bra. Now who on earth would buy a $3 million bra?

Katie Perry during the 2010 show. Now take a closer look at Katie's cameltoe. I swear, it gave me nightmares.

What you lookin at punk?
- sorry, we can't help but look at your flower

Angel ready to take off

Mrs Kings of Leon Lily Aldridge. Sorry Caleb but honestly, I hate the way she walks.

Chanel Iman all dolled up. Tweet tweew!

Oh no girl, I think you had too much diet. Can someone hand this girl a donut or something?

In the red corner, here comes Erin!

Hot mama Doutzen Kroes. I can almost hear my brother say MILF

and finally here comes Behati

So long folks! Hope you enjoy them pictures. 

Call Me Maybe

I'm so loving this song. I'm not really into pop but it's hard not to dance and sing along this song plus the video is totally hilarious. Wonder who the guy is? Maybe I could ask for his number. Thank god he's gay! Sorry Carly but the boy is ours, hehe.