Thursday, February 20, 2014
To all the girls (and pa-girl) out there, here's an uninterrupted 5 second eye to eye contact with ABS-CBN reporter Atom Araullo. You can rape the replay button over and over and over and over and over and over again. I just did that and still get the same reaction everytime.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Facebook recently celebrated its 10th birthday and launch a zappy, somewhat corny, 'Look Back' video montage of every photos and status updates you shared from the time you joined. This was followed by everyone flooding your news feed sharing their own 'Look Back' videos which almost made me wanna jump off a cliff.
Don't get me wrong. I love Facebook as I think it's a great avenue to stalk people. It's the pointless parade of unnecessary status updates that really unnerves me: Friends who post how they feel every other hour, or where they dined. God forbid but they even take a picture of the food they've eaten; A photo of their recent ultrasound which is kinda creepy for me; Change of status from being single to complicated to in a relationship and back to single like it's an annual change of season. I was guilty of this one I admit but took down the post a long time ago when I split with boyfriend number 3. But the most annoying of all is the ever notorious selfies.
Selfie is what irks me the most. Thanks to smartphones with front and rear cameras, every single human being can now take a mug shot of themselves anytime, anywhere, everywhere even while doing their business in the toilet. A little Camera 360 and voila! My acne-ridden friend can now post a decent photo of himself.
But enough of my tirade as I might alienate my Facebook friends. Instead, let me confess that I have unfollowed some of my friends who are guilty of the crimes I mentioned above. I even came close to deleting my Facebook account as I got feed up with all of my friends' nonsense, which leads me to create a list of reasons why I shouldn't quit Facebook. Facebook isn't so bad after all. Even my dad thinks it's hilarious. Not that he's on Facebook (he has a Twitter account I learned) but it can be a great way to cure boredom on a lazy, stay-at-home weekend.
Now I came up with 10 reasons why you shouldn't quit Facebook and I must say, it's quite a compelling list to make me stay on Facebook. I'll just skip the terrible status updates next time if I wan't to keep my sanity. Now on to the list:
1. Everyone appears to be on Facebook
Well, not really everyone but my niece's nanny, my barber, my doctor, my former boss, my next door neighbor, even my 65-year old single aunt are on Facebook. It's like you're an alien from another planet if you're not on Facebook or any social media. In fact, one of the first questions I always encounter when I meet new people is "Can I add you on Facebook?" like it's given that you should be on Facebook.
2. Facebook allows you to reconnect with long lost friends, high school and college buddies and even estranged exes.
Thanks to Facebook, I found my bestfriend back in high school whom I haven't seen for 12 years and man, was she hot! Thanks to Facebook too, she found her estranged husband who left her 10 years ago. The guy's with another woman now and my bestfriend can finally file an annulment after a decade (Divorce is not allowed in my side of the world) Now that's what I call a long-delayed break up.
3. It's a fun (and legal) way to stalk your crush
Who's not guilty of stalking their crush on Facebook? We've all done it and let's admit, it's fun, right? Thank you Facebook. Now I know my crush's favorite hang out, what he had for lunch, where he lives, where he partied last night, his birthday, his favorite color and everything in between that will make me a good researcher for Nielsen. Let me add that you had once downloaded your crush's profile photo and made it your wallpaper. I did that, once. Now ain't that A-level stalking.
4. You'll have a good laugh at some of your friends' status updates, shared photos and comments
Except for the annoying ones, you find yourself mostly laughing at your friends' status updates like the one above. I even have a friend (a guy I dated once) who posted something about the infamous (and severely exasperating) Flappy Bird saying something like "Instead of playing Flappy Bird, why don't you come play my bird?" WTF. Not funny dude. Not funny. I know your girth and length and it ain't fun. Ops. Moving on.
5. You can safely track your boyfriend or girlfriend
Another form of stalking, this time stealthily watching over your boyfriend or girlfriend's recent activities which doesn't involve you. Bad news is, you mostly end up in a nasty fight if your guy or gal was tagged in a photo that suggest some sort of flirting with another life form, or is in a different place when they said they were home that evening. Word of advice to you boys and girls out there - if you're in a relationship, make sure you keep your lies and extracurricular activities out of Facebook. Facebook can be a death trap you know.
6. You'll be well-informed about the latest news or gossip, intrigues and scandals which involved people in your friend's list
Who doesn't love juicy gossips about your boss and your colleague's nasty affairs? What about news that your high school classmate, who used to be a hottie, is now a nottie with 5 kids from 5 different men? Or your friend's hunk of an ex turned out to be gay? Or your neighbor screwing his dog? Or... okay enough.
7. You can have copies of photos of yourself with your friends
This is where tagging photos become fun. In case you went out with your friends and you have no handy camera to capture those Kodak moments, your trusty old friend always have one and you can simply ask them to tag you in the picture when they post it on Facebook. Word of caution though. Please don't tag people who are NOT in the picture because it's annoying. Why tag me when I'm not in that friggin picture? Please explain or you can just talk to my lawyer (huh?)
8. You can let off steam through your status updates
This one I found a bit annoying. But I get to try letting off steam on Facebook once and man, did it feel good. Plus, your friends' likes and comments make you feel validated and supported. Just don't overdo it next time because if you have issues, better not post it on Facebook. Talk to your friends instead. It is much healthier that way. Like farting.
9. You'll get a heads up that today is your friend's birthday if you're bad in remembering birthdays
I'm part of this online group called cantrememberimportantdates.org so Facebook's birthday reminder is such a big help. I used to keep my friends and family's birthdays in my mobile phone's calendar but I long abandoned the practice. Thanks to Facebook, a little birthday greeting on my friend's wall and I can be a good dear friend. I don't even need to give them presents except that, they still demand for presents, especially the ones I kept since college. Maybe I should find find a new set of friends. Those who don't ask for gifts during birthdays and Christmas.
10. You can stay in touch with your friends in case you change geographical location
No matter which part of the planet you are, you can't escape Facebook. You can always chat and share with friends and loved ones even if you're about to eat your breakfast while they're about to go to bed. No more expensive phone calls or emails that would take at least 24 hours for them to respond. But then again there's Skype and Viber but Facebook will always keep you stay connected with your dear ones even if you're in the moon.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
In case you don't know him, Steve Grand is an American country singer-songwriter who made quite a buzz last year with his 'All American Boy' music video. The guy got talent, that pretty much is obvious. But what made Steve hit the musical headlines was his sexuality which he tapped into his music. Just watch the video below and you'll know what I'm talking about.
It's very rare, or perhaps a first, for an artist to make music about boy meets boy romance. Now if you love the video, wait till you see our guy Steve bare his other 'talent' right after the jump. Now I want my own Stevie. I'll check Grindr and see if I could find one.
|Ain't he hot?|
|Damn those underwear|
|Don't drop the towel buddy|
|Hot stare. Feel the heat now?|
|Now that's one lucky boxing glove.|
|If you can zoom in, check out the burning bush|
|Nice underwear. I wonder where can I get one of this.|
|Soaking wet. Towel please.|
|Nice ass buddy. Really nice...|
|I wonder what we'll see if the red blanket was removed. The Leaning Tower of Pisa maybe?|
|I'm totally distracted. I don't know where to look. His eyes or... down under.|
|Alright, the eyes then... But it's more fun to look down there.|
|I didn't realize that wearing nothing but sneakers and underwear would look so hot. But it's Steve Grand so yeah, the guy's hot|
|Look this way buddy|
|Yeah we get it, you have a sexy armpit. Man, everything in this guy is sexy it's infuriating!|
|Wanna get in?|
|Green American Eagle boxer brief. I'll take a note of that next time I go shopping.|
|Now selfie should only be allowed if you're as hot as Steve Grand. I'll campaign for that in Facebook.|
|Timoteo brief, hmmm. I want one in blue and green.|
|Yeah. Oh la la|
|Now this will make me hurry to get home if I have a hot guy handcuffed in my bedroom.|
|And it shifts to the right!|
|Whatever you do buddy. Don't. Drop. The towel.|
|Arrrgh! Please stop looking at me like that. You make me go weak on the knees.|
|Take it off. Take it off.|
Okay. Enough of Steve. Now I need to get to the shower to lower my temperature. I think I just had a fever.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
(Disclaimer: I am not confused. That was me a few years ago. Right now, I'm pretty sure I'm gay the last time I check and I only used the title for the lack of better words for today's post)
I rummaged through my Yahoomail today and found an article I've written for a Yahoo group I used to join. Is there still some active Yahoo groups? Anyway, it was written by my 24 year old self. I remember writing it while sort of half drunk and brokenhearted. Around that time, I just ended a 3 month relationship with a guy I met in a bookstore. The guy was boyfriend number 1 and he was, as cheesy as it may sound, my great love.
What struck me was how honest I was when I wrote the article. It made me appreciate my 20s more despite of all the mistakes I made. Well, that's what you were really suppose to do while you're in your 20s. Make as many mistakes as you can and by your 30s, hopefully you learned enough for you to make the right choices so when you hit your 40s, your life will really begin.
But back to the article. I was still in the closet at that time and have less experience about love, life and sex. I'm a late bloomer, poor me so when boyfriend number 1 came along, my world was rattled. But more important, after reading what I've written years ago, I realize I made peace with myself a long time ago and embraced who I really am, and I couldn't be more happier.
Alright enough of this crap and here it is, the 24 year old me: conflicted, naive and closeted pouring his heart out.
This is for people who like me, got some loose screw somewhere. Actually, I don't know how to start this. No. In fact I don't know how should I end this.
Now if you people find me messed up, that's fairly okay. I actually consider myself deep in a mess since high school. Maybe that's the reason why I always screw up. I screwed up when I was in school. I screw up at work and I screw up big time in life and love.
Ah yes. Love...
When was the last time you people fell crazy in love? Me? I say it was just a month ago. For more than 3 months, I was with this wonderful guy I met (of all places) in a bookstore. I'll skip the generic description here as I may fill the entire page narrating how... how... adorable he was. How much I enjoy kissing him or spending my entire weekends with him. Watching the sunset or simply cuddling up with him in his room doing the censored stuff :-)
Anyway, the first few weeks was smooth sailing but I came to that point where I realized that hey, I'm more than just in love with this person. I am actually willing to do anything for him. I almost came close to "come out" to my family and tell them that "Mom, Dad, your son is gay. I am gay and I am in love with the guy I brought here two nights ago. You know, the guy I introduced as my officemate. We're actually planning of living together, if you approve."
But of course I didn't say that. I don't want my father to have a heart attack or hear my mom pray the rosary. (You can pretty much tell I'm from a conservative Catholic family, huh)
But I actually lived half my life fearing what if my parents found out that their eldest son is gay. Call me pathetic but I'm one of those closet folks whose major phobia is coming out of their secluded closet. Only four of my closest friends know that I am like this. People in the office have no single clue that I get a boner everytime I see our hunky security guard.
Sometimes I even hate myself for being gay. I often ask God "Why am I gay?" It's like being gay is twice the burden, twice the pain.
And that's the reason why I moved away from my guy. Pretty shallow, huh? My bestfriend kicked me in the ass when I told her that I broke up with my boyfriend. She told me I'm an idiot. Secretly I agree with her. But you can't make me admit that to myself.
Maybe I'm a classic example of a crazy old fool. Idiot or not but my boyfriend I guess, failed to make me accept what and who I am, and he was just so perfect for me he scares the shit out of me. He doesn't deserve someone with no direction, someone who thinks Neverland exist, someone who could hear music from the stars when there is none, someone who spent half of his life daydreaming.
Gees, I think I need to find myself a shrink.
I just hurt a beautiful guy and I'm paying dearly for it. I wish I could tell him that I cried the hardest when I let him go. Three months was indeed short to call this true love but somehow, I'm glad that I was able to experience what real, genuine and selfless love is.
How I wish I was braver. No. The truth is I wish the world was brave enough to accept people like me and Neverland really exist and the stars could really sing.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
I owe this little guy some serious writing when last year, I mentioned that I will take him out of snooze world and share some of my misadventures but all I did was the opposite. So baby, here we are again and we're back to blogging...
Oh boy, I just called my blog 'baby'.
But what the hell. I'm single, I'm out of work (I just quit my job last month) and I'm living a bum's life with a few cash in my savings account but oh yes, I'm loving every single bit of it.
So here's some real perks of being a bum. Now I don't recommend to my 8 loyal followers to quit your jobs and follow my lead but just in case I convince some unfortunate wayward soul who get to read this crap and follow my lead, below are some delicious gravy you'll get once you choose to make yourself an ass of a bum:
1. No more dragging yourself out of bed every morning because you no longer need to get to work at 9. Don't you just love curling around your bed, morning breath and all, and stay in that blissful state when the world around you begin its daily morning ritual of rush hour traffic, people hurriedly walking in every direction to get to their offices and you, running late for work. Bonus if you have a warm body to curl up with. Would be such a bad idea to leave your guy or gal cold in bed just because you need to go to work.
2. You'll no longer have an excuse to skip your workout or early evening jog because you have all the time in the world to do that which by the way, will make your muscles and running shoes really happy.
3. Number 2 is really for health buff bastards (God bless their souls) but for lazy ass like you and me, you'll have more time to splurge on TV, video games, some little porn and ice cream and potato chips in between! Think about it, you can have DVD marathon from sun up till sundown just because you can. Don't you just love the idea? It's like having cherry whip vanilla ice cream and unlimited butter cookie all day minus the unnecessary calories.
4. If you're a book person like me, you can go back to reading the books that are gathering dust in your bookshelf. Let's face it, having a full time job tends to withdraw you from things you love to do like reading. But if in case you can still find time to do the things you love while juggling endless paper works and deadlines, I hate you! But seriously, nothing beats a good read and a sip of frothy iced coffee during those lazy afternoon without thinking about next day's work. But I guess this is boring for some so let's move on to number 5.
5. Which is picking up a new hobby. I'm seriously thinking of taking dance class or dating every guy I meet online. Wait. That's not a hobby. But anyway, having all the time in your hands will give you the opportunity to start doing new things. Plus, it'll keep you sane in case you feel like hanging yourself in the bathroom for being out of job.
6. You'll have more time to spend with your loved ones. Imagine: movie dates or night stroll with your boyfriend or girlfriend, catch up dinner with your best buddy, not missing your nephew's children's party, beer session with dad or helping mom plant new daisies in your family backyard. I'll skip the last three I think and go for movie dates, night stroll and catch up dinner. These are healthy activities which help keep relationships stable and happy. So bless you for having more time to spend with your loved ones. I know you missed your nephew's children's party at some point because you're stuck at work. I missed my niece's party once and she never forgive me after 3 years (just kidding)
7. Best of all - no more demanding bosses, tensed meetings discussing action plans and bitchy officemates whom you really don't want to work with. No more end of day reports or deadlines, analyzing figures that wouldn't really help solve world hunger or dismal stat reports that makes you feel like you wanna shoot yourself by lunch. Believe me, I've been there and having not to think of it all feels... liberating.
So, wanna bum around? Just give me a call buddy and I will be your bum date.